19 best Silent Treatment Quotes images on Pinterest | Thinking about you, Thoughts and Feelings
Silence can be utterly destructive to our relationships and to our own integrity. therapy, I've found that couples struggling in their relationships often Please like my Facebook page to see quotes of the day, follow me on. Explore Jeanna Tameler's board "Silent Treatment Quotes" on Pinterest. | See more QuotesGram by @quotesgram Relationship Hurt Quotes, Family Hurt. The silent treatment in a relationship is a type of emotional abuse. Learn how to deal with someone who is using this abuse tactic to exclude you.
Give Your Partner Space to Think Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader.
6 Ways To Deal With The Silent Treatment In A Relationship
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.
How can you have an authentic, connected relationship by being false? Instead, try to empathize with your partner by saying you understand that they're upset or angry and that you would like to bridge the gap that has come between you.
Apologize if You're Truly Sorry Think about whether you really may have done or said something to hurt your partner or make them angry.
Admit and acknowledge any wrongs that may have caused offense and apologize sincerely. Ask Yourself Whether it's Just a Personality Difference Is your partner an introvert while you are more of an extrovert? Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they've been attacked or insulted in some way. If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you'll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you'll be back after the time is up to talk.
Of course it's best if they agree to this plan. Set Rules for Healthy Communication When communication is difficult it can help to create some rules.
Give your partner and yourself permission to calm down. Sometimes when we feel waves of anxiety, panic, or rage, our bodies become saturated with adrenaline. This is called "flooding," and it happens when intense feelings, thoughts, or sensations are just too much to integrate in the moment. Wyatt Fisher, a marriage counselor in Boulder, CO.
Regular stonewalling is toxic to a healthy relationship. Then they should come back together at an agreed-upon time when they are relaxed to talk through the conflict. It is often part of a pattern of poor communication. But the silent treatment, when structured, is a part of research-supported Behavioral Couples Therapy. I've been surprised to learn how many women have suffered the silent treatment for days, weeks, even months at a time in their marriages. I remember feeling extreme anguish when my guy wouldn't talk to me for a couple of hours—and he wasn't trying to dole out the cold shoulder but simply cooling off.
The silent treatment is painful to endure, and in my opinion someone who stonewalls another person to gain control of a situation is emotionally abusive. They're saying, in essence, "You are unworthy of being recognized as a human being worth decent treatment. The brain reacts in the a similar way, whether the behavior is physical harm or emotional neglect.
- Six Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment in Relationships
- Silent Treatment Quotes
Others, however, say that typically the silent treatment is just a poor form of communication. They can then be silent towards their partner for that time. Take some time to cool off. Give your partner space to think. Don't apologize unless you're truly sorry. Apologize if you're truly sorry. Ask yourself whether it's just a personality difference. Set rules for healthy communication. Changing Your Approach to the Relationship Since the silent treatment is a way for your partner to gain control, you need to take care of yourself so their behavior doesn't leave you feeling humiliated and rejected.
Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air. Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with. Other Ways to Address the Problem The majority of arguments don't start because of what is said.
They start over how something was said. If you find yourself sounding like you're making a demand or you feel like you're about to!
He didn't pick up his towels again! If you think it means that he's forgetful, you'll have a different response than if you think it means that he doesn't have any respect for you. Once you define what the event means—to you, not to him—you're ready to answer the next question. But when we arrived at the venue, I noticed he was tense. I thought he was just tired from our travels, so I told him to relax and enjoy. The tension never melted away, though. Knowing him to be a talkative man, I knew something was wrong.
Sometimes he even gave me the cold shoulder for no apparent reason. He would just stonewall me when I would ask him what was wrong. Finally, I had enough. When he came to visit me one day, I chose that moment to meet him at the door and tell him it was over between us.
I was glad to be free of him at last. It is hurtful and is a type of emotional abuse that is used as a manipulation tactic. Why do people use the silent treatment? As my story demonstrates, silence is a weapon. It can be used to punish, control, disempower, or run away from a person or problem.
People who use silent treatment to manipulate often have the following characteristics: They never learned to express themselves assertively. They have strong narcissistic tendencies. If you know someone who displays these characteristics, and that person gives you the silent treatment on a regular basis, know that you are not powerless against them. Here are the six things you can do to respond to the silent treatment in your relationship: Dig deep into the reasons for the silent treatment.
They may have trouble expressing themselves, especially when it comes to negative emotions like anger and grief. They only care about the power silence gives them — the power to compel you to do what they want, the power to make you grovel at their feet, the power to make you do feel desperate to get back in their good graces.
Before doing anything drastic about the silent treatment, make sure you know where the silence comes from. Ask the person directly why they clam up and let them know how it makes you feel.
Avoid letting the silent treatment get the better of you. Remember that people who give the silent treatment are looking to get a particular reaction out of you.
Silent Treatment Quotes (6 quotes)
Preoccupy yourself with other things to keep your thoughts away from the incident. Directly respond to the silent treatment with calmness, and talk to the person kindly.
When that time comes, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and ask your partner to talk in a private, comfortable place. Start off with a positive, factual statement. Make an offer of reconciliation.