Learn how to use humor and shared laughter to resolve conflict and build two people—qualities that define solid, successful relationships. And humor can be a great asset to keep a relationship exciting too. Double entendre, or double meaning jokes, is a perfect example of bathroom humor. Historically, psychologists framed humor negatively, suggesting it demonstrated they help us forge connections to the world and provide meaning to life. For example, when remembering a failed relationship, those.
Either way, how you manage conflict can often determine the success of your relationship. When conflict and disagreement throw a wrench in your relationship, humor and playfulness can help lighten the tension and restore a sense of connection. Used respectfully, a little lighthearted humor can quickly turn conflict and tension into an opportunity for shared fun and intimacy.
Alex is retired, but he still goes up on the roof to clean the gutters. His wife, Angie, has told him numerous times that it scares her when he uses the ladder. This embarrasses Lori, makes her husband defensive, and often means a pleasant evening ends with an argument.
Humor—free of hurtful sarcasm or ridicule—neutralizes conflict by helping you: Interrupt the power struggle, instantly easing tension and allowing you to reconnect and regain perspective.
Shared laughter and play helps you break free from rigid ways of thinking and behaving, allowing you to see the problem in a new way and find a creative solution. In playful settings, we hear things differently and can tolerate learning things about ourselves that we otherwise might find unpleasant or even painful.
Let go of inhibitions. Laughter opens us up, freeing us to express what we truly feel and allowing our deep, genuine emotions to rise to the surface. Managing conflict with humor tip 1: Making snide, hurtful remarks, for example, then criticizing the other person for not being able to take a joke will create even more problems and ultimately damage a relationship.
Humor can only help you overcome conflict when both parties are in on the joke. Consider the following example: Lately, Kevin has taken to sleeping at the far edge of the bed, a solution that distances them as a couple.
Humor should be equally fun and enjoyable for everyone involved. Ask yourself the following questions: Do you feel calm, clear-headed, and connected to the other person?
Managing Conflict with Humor
Are you sure that the joke will be understood and appreciated? Are you aware of the emotional tone of the nonverbal messages you are sending? Are you giving off positive, warm signals or a negative or hostile tone? Are you sensitive to the nonverbal signals the other person is sending?
Do they seem open and receptive to your humor, or closed-off and offended? Are you willing and able to back off if the other person responds negatively to the joke?25 FUNNY RELATIONSHIP FACTS YOU CAN DEFINITELY RELATE TO
If you say or do something that offends, is it easy for you to immediately apologize? When you use humor and playfulness as a cover for other emotions, you create confusion and mistrust in your relationships.
The following are examples of misplaced humor: Mike is a constant jokester. Nothing ever seems to get him down and he never takes anything seriously. No matter what happens to him or to anyone else, he makes a joke out of the situation.
Sharon is often jealous and possessive with her boyfriend John, but she has never learned to openly discuss her insecurities and fears. Instead, she uses what she thinks is humor to express her feelings. Instead of laughing, he often responds with a quiet coldness or withdrawal. For clues as to whether humor is being used to conceal other emotions, ask yourself: Does it tear down and divide, rather than build up and unite?
Do you often use humor to put yourself down? Is humor your default, even in serious situations that call for sensitivity and maturity?
Theories of humour Many theories exist about what humour is and what social function it serves. The prevailing types of theories attempting to account for the existence of humour include psychological theories, the vast majority of which consider humour-induced behaviour to be very healthy; spiritual theories, which may, for instance, consider humour to be a "gift from God"; and theories which consider humour to be an unexplainable mystery, very much like a mystical experience.
The theory says 'humour only occurs when something seems wrong, unsettling, or threatening, but simultaneously seems okay, acceptable or safe'. Others believe that 'the appropriate use of humour can facilitate social interactions'. White once said, "Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.
This process of dissecting humour does not necessarily banish a sense of humour but begs attention towards its politics and assumed universality Khanduri However, both humour and comic are often used when theorising about the subject. The connotations of humour as opposed to comic are said to be that of response versus stimulus. Additionally, humour was thought to include a combination of ridiculousness and wit in an individual; the paradigmatic case being Shakespeare's Sir John Falstaff.
The French were slow to adopt the term humour; in French, humeur and humour are still two different words, the former referring to a person's mood or to the archaic concept of the four humours. Throughout history, comedy has been used as a form of entertainment all over the world, whether in the courts of the Western kings or the villages of the Far East.
Both a social etiquette and a certain intelligence can be displayed through forms of wit and sarcasm.
Humour - Wikipedia
Eighteenth-century German author Georg Lichtenberg said that "the more you know humour, the more you become demanding in fineness. Later, in Greek philosophy, Aristotlein the Poetics a, pp. Each rasa was associated with a specific bhavas portrayed on stage. In Arabic and Persian culture[ edit ] Muhammad al-Baqir's Hadith about humour The terms comedy and satire became synonymous after Aristotle's Poetics was translated into Arabic in the medieval Islamic worldwhere it was elaborated upon by Arabic writers and Islamic philosophers such as Abu Bischrhis pupil Al-FarabiPersian Avicennaand Averroes.
Due to cultural differences, they disassociated comedy from Greek dramatic representation, and instead identified it with Arabic poetic themes and forms, such as hija satirical poetry.
They viewed comedy as simply the "art of reprehension" and made no reference to light and cheerful events or troublesome beginnings and happy endings associated with classical Greek comedy.
After the Latin translations of the 12th centurythe term comedy thus gained a new semantic meaning in Medieval literature. Even in the most solemn song, like Las Kean Fine ["Lost and Can Not Be Found"], which tells of a boiler explosion on a sugar plantation that killed several of the workers, their natural wit and humour shine though.
Humor was perceived as irony and sarcasm. Local performing arts, storytelling, vernacular fiction, and poetry offer a wide variety of humorous styles and sensibilities. Modern Chinese humor has been heavily influenced not only by indigenous traditions, but also by foreign humor, circulated via print culture, cinema, television, and the internet.
Self-deprecating humour has been found to increase the desirability of physically attractive others for committed relationships. Not all contemporary research, however, supports the previous assertion that humour is in fact a cause for healthier psychological wellbeing. They did not consider the types of humour, or humour styles.
For example, self-defeating or aggressive humour. The two types are adaptive versus maladaptive humour. Individuals with this dimension of humour tend to use jokes as a mean of affiliating relationships, amuse others, and reduce tensions.