Cosmopolitan and the false promise of an 'awesome life' | Gail Dines | Opinion | The Guardian
Lately, we've heard a lot of celebs offer up their relationship advice. Some are great; others are not so much. Curious to know the best tips. Cosmopolitan magazine's Sex and Relationship Editor Hannah Smothers is a she's writing about sexual survivors or sexual advice, Smothers' main piece of advice She then started writing more broadly about women's health and politics. We know most women laugh that stuff off as cheap entertainment not to be taken seriously, but what if they actually did listen to all of the advice.
The article Change Your Man s Gross Habits pointed out the makes jabs at annoyances Latinas feel about their pitfalls of dating Latinos.
And one political piece husbands mothers. The article says Latino men ex- about the social networking anti-rape campaign men- pect mom-quality cooking and that Latina moms tioned earlier quoted Brazilian President Roussef as think their sons are perfect. The author online accepted machismo as a fact of Latino life, and writes Abuela can ix and cure all, but when it they urged readers to empower themselves against comes to relationship advice beware the writer men who might try to take advantage of them.
Perhaps the most Media Report to Women Summer 14 www. Five of the arti- about a topic usually framed as shameful and illegal.
These horo- The article I Traded Sex to Pay For School high- scopes contained dating and love advice, but they lighted the problem of low graduation rates among made no overt references to Latino culture nor to La- second-generation Latinas in the U. Horoscope copy was always in English. Ra- CFL readers, but no horoscopes were present in the ther than make judgments about young women who Cosmopolitan online sample.
In this study, Cosmo s online fram- life. In one quote, a woman said that indings that suggest monogamy and male sexual despite identifying as a lesbian being a sugar baby pleasure are centra to women s magazines discours- is an amazing ego boost.
Relationships | Cosmopolitan Philippines
On a less positive note, it also assumed doms associated with college education and steady that Latinas are in inancial trouble, and that sex income stereotyped women s interest in casual rela- work might be a fast way to ix that. Writers seemed to ual encounters defended men and assumed that internalize stereotypical sexual scripts and embed celebrity romances are important to readers.
Although a feminist discourse of re- Whereas CFL online framed Latina bodies as the sites sistance and empowerment was present, it was con- of political and social struggles, Cosmopolitan online founding when coupled with stereotypes themselves.
One of the most notable difer- ence from control. These articles focused on love pidgin dialects. Many CFL articles transitioned luid- or sex and on work or play, always emphasizing a ly between English and Spanish, sometimes within woman s agency in her relationships and in her ca- the same sentence, as with Where s your boyfriend?
Cosmo’s Sexpert Hannah Smothers Opens Up
Other times, Spanish was pep- ing a party, and out buying gifts. This inancial free- pered into articles in what seemed like an atempt to dom frame was not present in the CFL sample.
An- encode Latina identity into generic English-language other story, Signs He s a Keeper, says men content. This was particularly the case in sex articles should appreciate women who work. Whereas CFL that outlined sex positions. In The Best Shower Sex suggested Latina women are victims of political cir- Positions, English-language advice followed Span- cumstances that prevent them from having full agen- ish-language positions with names such as Manos cy over their bodies going so far as ofering sugar en la Pared Hands on the Wall and La Silla The daddies as one option for making moneyCosmo- Seat.
In CFL s content, stories were improve the authenticity of the reading experience, dedicated to helping women empower themselves lending a Latina voice to content that could have oth- against Latino machismo. In Cosmopolitan s content, erwise been published in Cosmopolitan. A male writer named repulsed by conventional romantic gestures.
The Frank Kobola penned three stories in the sample that dominant message Rather than commit to someone articulated men s anxieties about women and re- who is not worth your time, it s beter to go your minded Cosmo readers to respect men s emotions.
The contrast with CFL s monoga- articulates men s insecurities about meeting women my frame is noteworthy.
Cosmopolitan and the false promise of an 'awesome life'
I spent an hour trying to Alcohol is important to dating culture. Cosmo igure out if tucking my shirt in made me look nerdy, emphasized alcohol s role in dating life and cau- or mature and dependable, the story begins. And inally, in Rea- that sex isn t beter when you re drunk and sons Men Lose Their Erections, Kobola outlines nothing good happens after a.
Another story common causes of erectile dysfunction among young Things Everyone Goes Through That Should Be men, reminding young women that nervousness, Fun Instead of Stressful reminds women that It's stress, and alcohol can all play a role in virility. Three easy to use the old fallback booze plan to avoid awk- articles Relationship Rules You Should Deinite- wardness, particularly because you're not in a place ly Ignore, Signs He s a Keeper and Things yet where you'd do something like take a day trip or That Seem Like a Red Flag But Aren t reiterate that even have dinner.
However … waking up in some women s high expectations of men are unreasonable. Contrastingly, In Defense of Girls Who insecurities. Given Cosmopoli- sexual orientation aside, every human being knows tan s online coverage of women s bodies as autono- that making out when you re drunk is fun as shit. While CFL s articles emphasized the wom- adult are now times worse.
It is way through it. Some content focused commited. Whereas CFL s content assumed readers on lifestyle advice Things You Should Never had husbands or were in long-term relationships, Say to an Introvert and career aspirations Cosmo assumed the opposite. In Ways to Get What You Want Out of Life, ing, You don t have to let your partner or your the writer tells readers they should advocate for their own sense of obligation pressure you into doing desires because no one else will.
Successful women something you don t want to do, Sex before mar- will tell people what they want, ask for what riage is, um, helpful, and It s not a bad thing to be they want, cut out the people that hold them Media Report to Women Summer 16 www. They will also move between cities and end scripts are encoded using cultural stereotypes speciic relationships for personal gain. In Things No One to Latina women.
Despite identifying with CFL s brand Tells You About Post-Grad Life, the writer reminds of hybrid Latina-American identity, readers may inter- readers that paying your own bills is actually prety nalize scripts related to Latina cultural homogeneity cool, insinuating that neither mom nor dad nor hus- and eroticism and project those scripts onto others band nor boyfriend should be crucial to living com- within their cultures.
Readers of Cosmopolitan may fortably. Alt- CFL and Cosmopolitan are published by hough CFL stereotypes Latinas as having erotic sexu- Hearst Corporation, share a vice president, and have alities, deep family ties, and monogamous relation- audiences that clearly overlap with one another, yet ships, Cosmo stereotypes mainstream U. After all, according to various Cosmo articles So, let's say a guy makes a conscious decision to share more.
That's solid advice, no matter the source. When she asks him about his day, instead of just saying, "fine," he can tell her in detail about his argument with Sarah, the lady from HR. Sharing about his day was a big mistake.
According to one Cosmo articlegiving too many details is a sign that he's hiding something: At first, it may seem that because he can describe so much, he must be truthful. But he could actually be trying to cover his ass.
7 Psychotic Pieces of Relationship Advice from Cosmo | az-links.info
And all those times the man had to stop and think -- to make sure he didn't miss any details? You know, because he wanted to be more communicative? Relationships are like a game of chess, if chess had a move that forced the other player to leave his home and possessions behind and stay in a Motel 6 for five weeks.
Continue Reading Below Advertisement What kind of consequences he can expect: The great thing about Cosmopolitan is that it regularly features both relationship red flag articles and "how to get back at him for cheating" articles.
So, say this man's girlfriend listened to the former that is, that her man is cheating because he can really paint a picture with words. Now she just picks up the next issue and figures out what to do about it: Continue Reading Below Advertisement "Resist the urge to break up with him until the day of his big meeting -- then give him a Sharpie mustache right before his alarm goes off. As if work hasn't been stressful enough as it is, our hypothetical man's reward for talking to this hypothetical woman who obeys the mighty word of Cosmo about all the crap he deals with at work is And I don't think that's a bad thing to want, you know?
It's just that we don't think pretty dresses and nice heels are the way you get it. But then again, our survival does not depend on making our movement a hospitable place for advertisers to sell their products. Actually, if the truth be told, feminism is about exposing the way advertisers lie, cajole, seduce, and exploit women's fears as a way to sell us useless products that promise to transform and empower, while all the time making women poorer, more insecure, and increasingly dependent on toxic substances to make them feel younger, hotter, and more desirable.
And nobody does this better than Cosmo. With its manipulative "all girls together" tone, coupled with the "wise older mentor" approach, which promises to teach young women all they need to know to keep "him coming back for more", Cosmopolitan, like most women's magazines, masquerades as a friend and teacher to young women trying to navigate the tricky terrain of surviving in a male-dominated society.
Its power lies in its promise to be a guide and friend, and it promotes itself as one of the few forums for understanding what the reader is going through. Zimmerman calls this a "cheerful, girl-friendly tone", which sounds a lot like the wording in an ad Cosmopolitan uses pdf to promote itself to its advertisers when it describes itself as "its readers' best friend, cheerleader and shrink. In a interview with the Guardian, Brown defined her vision of Cosmopolitan's powerful role in advising young women how to become upwardly mobile.
Suggesting that there are some women who are content with their lot in life, who don't want sable coats or weekends in Paris, Brown makes it clear that this is not the Cosmopolitan reader, because "my girl wants it. She is on the make.
Her nose is pressed to the glass and she does get my message. This includes being great in the kitchen, in bed, and interestingly, as communications scholar Laurie Ouellette describes in an article on the history of the magazine, schooling oneself in the ways of the elite, so you can tell your "Crepes from your Coquilles".