Essential qualities of primary relationship

Dating Resolutions: 7 Characteristics of an Ideal Partner

essential qualities of primary relationship

In this configuration, a primary relationship is between two partners who As such, research is needed to determine whether our most basic from monogamous relationships on a number of relationship quality indicators. Maintaining a healthy, happy relationship requires you to make daily choices that leave your ego behind and act in the best interest of your. 7 Characteristics of successful work relationships practice members are important influencers of a practice's capacity to deliver primary and.

These ideal attributes include: Maturity This statement is not meant to echo the ever-advised mantra that maturity is important. These qualities are nice, but to truly grow up means making an active effort to recognize and resolve negative influences from our past. An ideal partner is thus willing to reflect on his or her history and is interested in understanding how old events inform current behaviors. When people mature emotionally, they are less likely to re-enact or project past experiences onto their current relationships.

They develop a strong sense of independence and autonomy, having differentiated from destructive influences from early in life. As they evolve within themselves, they are less likely to look for someone to compensate for shortcomings and weaknesses or to complete their incompleteness. Having broken ties to old identities and patterns, this person is much more available to a romantic partner and the new family that they create together. Naturally, becoming emotionally mature ourselves helps with this process and dramatically improves our chances of achieving a solid and rewarding relationship.

Openness The ideal partner is open, undefended and willing to be vulnerable. No human being is perfect, so finding someone who is approachable and receptive to feedback can be a huge asset to a lasting union.

When someone is free-thinking and open-minded, it enables them to be forthright in expressing feelings, thoughts, dreams and desires, which allows you to truly know them. Their openness is also an indication of their interest in personal development and often contributes to the development of the relationship. Like perfect people, perfect unions do not exist, so finding someone with whom you can talk about an area that you feel is lacking in your relationship and who is open to evolving is more than half the battle.

Conversely, being willing to accept feedback from our partners and looking for that kernel of truth in what they say allows us to develop ourselves in a similar manner. In mindful relationships, people are open to new ideas. A mindful practice avoids operating on autopilot, encourages everyone to express their ideas without fear of ridicule, criticism or punishment, and looks for ways to continually learn and improve.

This occurs when people are sensitive to the task at hand and understand how their work affects one another. In addition, they are continually aware of how each person contributes to the goals of the practice and the larger community. Practices that demonstrate this characteristic are better able to deal with unexpected events. Respectful interactions are considerate, honest and tactful. Respect is especially important in challenging situations, as it can help individuals focus on problem solving.

10 Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

Relationships in practices can be described as social or task related. However, as polyamory extends beyond sexual connection, individuals may report that commitment does exist with partners beyond the initial dyad. Current research is just beginning to explore potential differences in the relationship dynamics an individual has with multiple partners [ 19 ]. For example, Mogilski and colleagues [ 19 ] found no significant differences between relationship satisfaction ratings of monogamous partners and CNM primary partners, however, the difference between ratings of monogamous partners and CNM secondary partners was marginally significant, such that CNM participants reported higher relationship satisfaction with their primary partner than with their secondary partner.

There were some important limitations, however, in their study: In this case, the authors collapsed across the various forms of non-monogamy i. Investigating how polyamorous individuals think, feel, and behave within their different romantic relationships is essential for developing an understanding of the psychological processes involved in the maintenance of multiple simultaneous romantic relationships.

essential qualities of primary relationship

Relationship acceptance and secrecy Approximately While previous research has highlighted the fact that polyamory is not widely accepted and is a socially stigmatized relationship configuration [ 22 ], to our knowledge no research has empirically tested whether individuals with more than one romantic partner perceive a lack of acceptance from family and friends, and further, whether this acceptance varies across relationships.

One important source of relationship acceptance is the family [ 23 ].

essential qualities of primary relationship

More specifically, Goffman [ 24 — 25 ] suggests that in an attempt to maintain compatibility between personal and social identities, individuals who are subject to stigma may employ strategies to reduce the possibility that others will notice their involvement in discredited behavior [ 26 ].

We hypothesized that in polyamorous relationships, the mean amount of perceived acceptance from family for primary relationships would be greater than the mean amount of acceptance for secondary relationships Hypothesis 1. Additionally, it is likely that the expectations from important peers e.

We therefore hypothesized that the mean amount of perceived acceptance from friends for primary relationships would also be greater than the mean amount of acceptance for secondary relationships Hypothesis 2.

While we expect primary relationships to receive greater acceptance from family and friends, contrary to family, individuals can select their friends and may be likely to select friends who are either similar to or more accepting of their relationships.

Perceptions of primary and secondary relationships in polyamory

We thus predicted that family would be perceived as less accepting of secondary relationships than friends Hypothesis 3. Furthermore, the desire to comply with customs and norms, or to avoid stigma, could result in greater secrecy about polyamorous relationships, particularly, when it comes to relationship partners beyond the primary relationship members. We therefore hypothesized that in polyamorous relationships, the mean amount of romantic secrecy would be greater for secondary relationships than the mean amount of romantic secrecy reported for primary relationships Hypothesis 4.

While stigma towards CNM has been documented at the general level i. Relationship investment and commitment processes Interdependence theory posits that individuals initiate and maintain relationships because of the benefits of interactions in a relationship [ 28 — 30 ].

As relationships develop, the interaction amongst partners yields outcomes in the forms of rewards e. Commitment, in turn, promotes relationship persistence. In polyamorous relationships, anecdotal evidence suggests primary partners may afford certain rewards because primary partners can share in major life decisions and can help to promote greater levels of interdependence e.

essential qualities of primary relationship

Some experiences and behaviors that are more common among primary partnerships, such as relationship approval and the ability to exist as a publicly recognized couple especially when secrecy in other relationships is salient may be additionally rewarding. In contrast, other experiences and behaviors that are likely more common among secondary relationships may have relationship deterring effects, such as maintaining a romantic bond in social climates that marginalize and devalue polyamorous relationships.

For these reasons, we further expected that it should be more difficult to develop interdependence in secondary relationships compared to primary relationships.

A practical matter to also consider is the degree to which one invests in and is therefore able to commit to a relationship, given that many investments are, by their nature, limited. More specifically, if the primary partner is the recipient of many of the investments typical in traditional relationship trajectories moving in together, getting married, having children, etc.

Additionally, previous research utilizing the Investment Model Scale found that individuals in marginalized relationships invest significantly less than individuals in nonmarginalized relationships [ 34 ].

The Important Characteristics of Primary Group | Sociology

Taken together, we predicted that the mean amount of investments for primary relationships would be greater than the mean amount of investments reported in secondary relationships Hypothesis 5.

Additionally, it has been suggested that denying or hiding a relationship can decrease relationship satisfaction because it can represent a devaluing of the relationship [ 35 ], and creates anxiety about the relationship itself [ 36 ].

Keeping a relationship secret is also linked to elevated reports of physical and psychological stress [ 37 ], another factor that might be expected to lower relationship quality. Recent research has also found that within CNM relationships, participants reported higher overall relationship satisfaction with primary compared to secondary relationships and considered their primary partner to be more desirable as a long-term mate than their secondary partner [ 19 ]. Thus, we predicted that individuals in polyamorous relationships would be more satisfied with primary relationships than secondary relationships Hypothesis 6.

That said, to the degree that individuals have chosen to stay with a primary partner while pursuing other alternatives as opposed to leaving that relationship entirelywe predicted that the perceived quality of alternatives would be lower for assessments of primary compared to secondary relationships Hypothesis 7.

More specifically, individuals in polyamorous relationships should be less likely to desire leaving the primary partner for another equivalent relationship, and somewhat more likely to desire leaving a secondary partner for another equivalent relationship. Lastly, to the extent that the above predictions are true—that primary relationships are indeed associated with greater satisfaction and investments and fewer alternatives—this would be expected to translate to greater commitment for primary compared to secondary relationships, consistent with the central prediction of the Investment Model Hypothesis 8.

Additional reasoning for this hypothesis comes from other research finding that marginalization is a negative predictor of commitment [ 34 ]. Given that secondary relationships are thought to be more marginalized than primary relationships, we would expect commitment to the former to be lower than commitment to the latter. Relationship communication Communication is an extremely valuable skill in any relationship, but particular importance is placed on communication in the context of polyamorous and other CNM relationships.

Polyamorists actively sustain their engagements with multiple partners through an ideology that emphasizes open and honest communication [ 8 ].