10 steps to build a strong relationship - Relationship Rules
Creating a healthy, loving, supportive and fulfilling relationship with our significant other might be as easy as following these 10 simple steps. Building a strong relationship requires a lot of hard work and never-ending effort from both ends. Here are the ten basic steps of building a. Relationship advice: This article lists 10 most important attributes that are essential for a happy relationship. The lists uses the acronym 'happy hearts' to list the.
Two, to have so much baggage created from a relatively short period of time we first parted ways 1. No more mental torture or mental inhibitions. No more holding yourself back for something that cannot come to pass.
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Depending on how deep the emotional impact was, it might take several phases before you can really move on. Whatever you do, you will definitely be making progress every step along the way. Be it bitter or sweet, each time you are clearing baggage, bit by bit. Each step is an act of healing in itself. Acknowledge, accept and let go of your feelings With every broken relationship comes baggage. The length of time me and G were in close, active communication was about 2. Not very long compared to others, yet there was so much baggage to be cleared in my head!
If your relationship was longer, I can imagine there must be a lot more for you to deal with. Our baggage will be a mixture of sadness, regret, hope, wistfulness, melancholy, disappointment. If the relationship was intense, your baggage will probably include hate, grief, anger, fear, shame and other deeper emotions. Whatever the emotion is, open yourself to the emotion fully. This means if you hate the person, feel that hatred.
If you feel sad, soak in your sadness. If you feel the need to grief, then please grief. Cry if need be. Take time out for yourself to process these feelings. Embrace them and accept them. To complete the cleansing process, all the dirt has to be cleansed.
To do so you need to first acknowledge and accept your feelings. As you connect with these emotions, slowly let them go. Feel them, understand the source, then release them. Some suggestions would be to talk to a good friend, journaling or meditation.
Such fixations are dangerous. I always believe if real intention is there, any obstacles, no matter how insurmountable, can be overcome. Your friends are there for a reason, to help you, support you, and pull you through this period.
Other close friends include my secondary school pals, my junior college friend, my god brother whom I knew back when I was 15 and my best friend from university. These people were there to listen to me and support me when I was down. Their overwhelming patience made me very grateful for who they are and our friendships.
This experience has undoubtedly strengthened our friendships. Especially not the very things the wound is susceptible to. For example, words or actions that are more romantic than platonic, making it hard for you to decipher on the status of the relationship. I had to reduce contact with G because his actions toward me made it hard for me to move on.
10 Steps to Handle Relationship Conflicts
A part of me kept seeing him as an ideal guy, while on the other hand he was treating me in this special way that was ambiguous. Reducing contact made it much easy for me to gain clarity on the situation, that what we had was a friendship and there was nothing more than that.
You may try to rationalize them away, but they will remain there, yearning to be answered. Airing these thoughts to the person helps you gain closure.
Write down everything you want to say; things you had qualms with; questions you have always wanted to ask. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. It said that whenever we refuse to forgive someone, the person we are not forgiving is really ourselves. You are the only person carrying the baggage around.
This was what happened to me. Advertisement Carrying all these heavyweight emotions can be very tiring. Think about how you are denying yourself of so much happiness by holding on to your grievances. Think about how you are preventing yourself from experiencing your real love because you are still hanging on to these baggage.
Whenever you hold on to something, you prevent yourself from receiving new things in life. Forgive yourself for putting yourself through this trauma. Forgive yourself for everything that has happened.
As you forgive yourself, forgiveness of the other person will occur naturally. For more on forgiveness, read; Day Do the things you love Steps are tied to your inner world and specifically dealing with the root of the issue.
Get into some activities.
What are the things that perk you up? Things that excite you, enthuse you, make you feel rejuvenated? Going out with friends? Engage yourself in them. Meeting new people, friends or romantic potentials alike, reminds how there is a whole world out there. There are many great people to know out there.
If your partner does something to upset you, tell him or her in a non-threatening or accusing way. Always use compassionate confrontation. Holding onto hurt feelings will only cause the problem to fester. Never lie to your partner. Be empathetic, and put yourself in your loved ones shoes.
See how they may feel. Remember, no one is perfect, not even you. Respect Each Other — Always show each other mutual respect, and trust. Pay attention to your partner. Be a good listener. Let your partner know that there is a safe space for open communication. This is someone you love, admire and respect. When the timing is right, talk, ask questions in non-threatening ways, and then attentively listen for what your partner wants you to know or understand. Good listing skills enhance relationships.
If your partner needs alone time to cool off, or wants a night out with his or her friends, respect those needs. Support Each Other — If your spouse decides to take up a new hobby or pursue a promotion at work, become his or her biggest cheerleader. Be Affectionate — After so much time together it can be easy to know that you are loved, but feeling loved and being loved are very different.
Make it a point to show your affection, whether the gesture is small or large. Often the smallest of favors make a big impact. Be devoted, spend time together. Waking up early to make breakfast or offering to take the children to soccer practice are good ways to show your affection.
Never forget the power of physical attention. Make it a goal to be intimate more than once a week. Remind each other that you still find your partner attractive with a caress or a sweet kiss on the neck. Touching reinforces affection, and trust. Be Adventurous — Try new things in your relationship. Choose to make time for each other. Often people in long committed relationships complain about feeling stale or bored.
10 Steps to Handle Relationship Conflicts
Try new things together. Sign up for a dance class, kickball league or wine-tasting club. Explore a new country, eat at that fancy French restaurant or sing a duet at the new karaoke bar. Check out this list of things couples who are madly in love do. Communicate Effectively — Be open with your partner. Learn how to communicate with your partner effectively. Accept that your partner may need time to cool off before tackling the subject of your latest disagreement.
Never use directive language. Choose to be vulnerable. Focus on resolving the problems in the present situation. Make Your Relationship a Priority — With the hustle and bustle of daily life, it can be challenging to fit in alone time with your partner. Between eight-hour work days, taking the kids to various activities and finding time to exercise, it can be hard to squeeze in time together.
Revive date night, even if it is only once a month. Sneak in ten minutes at the end of the night with a glass of wine and a few kisses. Make a constant effort to remember these helpful tips.