How to Take Control of a Relationship: 10 Steps (with Pictures)
It would be nice if relationships with people were always easy and fun like on Mayberry RFD, but they are not. How to Take Control of a Relationship. Like it or not, there exists a balance of power in each relationship. For most, in the ideal relationship, power is balanced at. Women know how to control men in a relationship. And the guys never see it coming. Here are 4 ways women may trick guys, without even.
Nearly all people want control over their environment. It's just human nature. We're notoriously unable to let go and allow a situation to just be.
The Weaker Person Controls the Relationship
We always feel like we have to do something to make things go our way. So don't be shocked if your man shows a few signs here and there of wanting some control.
The big difference between someone who is merely being human and someone who is controlling is that the later results in emotional and physical abuse.
A person who just wants control over themselves and their environment is pretty normal. However, a person who wants to constantly control what others say and do has issues. This is an important distinction, for obvious reasons. The first kind of person is just trying to meet his legitimate needs as best he can. The second kind of person wants to restrict the freedoms of others--maybe even you. If you suspect that you could be in a relationship with someone like this, check out these warning signs of a controlling boyfriend: He's Very Insecure and Paranoid The first thing that you should understand about someone who is controlling is that their need for control usually comes from a deep insecurity.
This doesn't mean that they're only insecure about your relationship specifically, although that certainly is part of it. An insecure person rarely limits their neurosis to just one part of their life. Common Insecurities in a Relationship: His looks or your looks. His job or your job.
How people view the two of you. Whether you're attracted to other people besides him.
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Whether you and others "respect" him enough. The more fragile his self-image, the more controlling he is likely to be. Because he has a flimsy emotional foundation on the inside, he will try to make up for it by controlling situations on the outside.
Signs of an Insecure or Paranoid Man: Both partners feel caught in a terrible script that just keeps replaying. When these problems are chronic and entrenched--seem to always follow the same repeating script--they can cause serious trouble.
Partners who manage conflict by always avoiding or giving-in are also putting their relationship at risk. Often these tendencies result from early upbringing and are more or less automatic--not something we necessarily understand very well about ourselves.
Compliant partners need to learn to stand up for their needs in a relationship. A certain amount of self-support and self-validation is required.
The Relationship Code: Women who control their men -
Control-oriented partner s need to accept more influence from their partner. Marriage research finds that accepting influence from your partner is highly correlated with marriage success for men. For women, moderating the ways that you seek to influence your partner to make them more positive is the other side of this finding. A chronic need to be in control and have your way on most things is often related to underlying insecurities that sometimes have origins deep in our early childhood experiences.How To Recognize Covert Controlling Bullies In Relationships - Stop Abusive Bullies in Relationships
Likewise, always giving in can reflect a different response to similar issues. Paradoxically, for the control-oriented person learning to give up some control can be the key to getting more of what we want and need in relationships. The paradox for the compliant is that becoming more assertive can lead to more enduring relationships.
If you have difficulty modifying chronic compliant or controlling behavior, you may find individual counseling helpful in exploring and resolving underlying insecurities. Sometimes, one or both partners need to learn to tolerate differences that cannot be resolved at least for now.
This means putting such differences aside for a time, once efforts to arrive at a compromise have been exhausted. This means tolerating some of your differences without an absolute need to change your partner. In the long run, this strategy is unlikely to succeed for either partner.
Each partner should do so from time to time. Compromise, of course, means concessions from each partner. Naturally, they notice their own sacrifices more than those of their partner. Power Struggle In the control-control or power struggle problem pattern, neither partner is willing to give much ground.