Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work For Most Guys
Take a look into how men are REALLY using OKCupid. Even worse, when one of my female friends does decide to meet a date in person. From trying to figure out where to meet nice guys to navigating a budding apps like Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid are getting a bit of a bad rap. Here, career-focused daters work long hours, a cocktail costs $15, and there are over , more single women than men. And this, I.
Hey, we never said it was an easy solution. Being successful at online dating is the same as being successful at anything — it takes practice and effort. So much effort that a lot of men outsource their online dating. Think of it this way — if your car needs new brakes, you could watch a YouTube video and then do it yourself. Online dating is no different. A virtual dating assistant does the hard part for you. The profile writing, the photo selection, the tedious back and forth messaging.
Literally all you do is show up for the dates. Bring in an online dating expert. Minimize the time you spend online while maximizing the number of dates you get. Get ready to take some notes… Step 1: Drop Your Line In The Right Pond If you want to save time and frustration, focus your efforts on the sites and apps that best fit your circumstances. But it has one unique feature — only women can initiate contact.
The largest percentage of users arebut women of all ages use it. Men get 21 potential matches a day, while women receive a curated group of 5 or so guys who have already swiped right. But prepare to spend extra time screening profiles — the free sites tend to attract more low quality matches than a paid site like Match.
Attractive photos will get her swiping right, checking out your profile, and responding to your message. You just have to know how to hit her attraction triggers — and for that, you need science on your side. Remember reading about Darwin in school? She wants an alpha male. So make sure your pictures portray all your sexy, desireable alpha male traits.
Give her a glimpse into your life in a way that makes her eager to spend time with you. Stick with a range of 3 to 7 photos. The number of photos you use can have a huge impact on your number of matches on dating apps. For instance, using at least 3 photos on Tinder will get you 6x more matches than just using 1.
Tinder even has a built in feature called Smart Photos to help you determine which one should be your primary photo.
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On online dating sites like Match. Use a good quality camera. It will make you look more attractive. Include at least one full body photo. Using one in your photo lineup will increase your response rate. Nix the posed group shots.
Guys want to meet up in person too soon. : OkCupid
Studies have shown they decrease your response rate. Get female feedback on your photos. It tacks 7 years onto your perceived age online. Include overtly sexual photos, even on a more casual app like Tinder. The vast majority of women find them distasteful. Post pro photos obviously taken in a studio. Have the photographer meet you at a visually interesting outdoor spot instead. Bring Your Profile A-Game While nailing your photos is arguably your biggest priority, if you want to reel in the highest quality women, you need a top notch profile.
Different dating sites and apps have varying formats and character lengths, but there are a few Golden Rules of profile writing: Let your inner alpha male shine through. We talked about it in the photo section, and the same rules apply to your profile. Research has shown time and again that women are instinctively drawn to certain traits like bravery, intelligence, and a willing to take risks.OkCupid Is A Waste Of Time And Dating Sites Sucks For Christian Men
Make sure your profile highlights these kind of personality traits in an attractive way. Turning your profile into a laundry list of adjectives is boring, and boring is the kiss of death in online dating: Most of my young single friends have OkCupid profiles.
However, what I find interesting is what people do with said online dating profile. First, there are my female friends. I have plenty of successful and attractive ones in my social circles.
Most of the conversation revolves around a few topics.
Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work For Most Guys (And What To Do About It)
One being openly mocking the horrendous attempts of guys talking with them online. Most of the messages are rude, lewd and downright inappropriate. Even worse, when one of my female friends does decide to meet a date in person, they always come back disappointed.
They tell stories of bad mannerisms and out-of-line expectations. Then there are my male friends. However, where most of the conversation is fluff, I have known guys who are obsessed with how it all works.
They send hundreds of messages, they have systems for responses, and they always seem to focus on some minute flaw or detail as means of disqualification.
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Being a geek, I like to apply metrics to my life. How many girls am I talking to? What can I do to improve my results? I like to get the best bang for my buck, and OkCupid is a great playground to play in.
So here is what goes through my head. On my profile if you can find it, that isI know that I have to differentiate myself somehow. So, I hired a copywriter to write my profile. Someone who is an expert in telling stories and convincing people to engage. I was authentic as possible, almost to a fault. Then there are photos. I make sure to have photos of me doing interesting things, and surrounded by friends as well. Then of course, what am I looking for? Well, therein lies the problem.
Due to the advent of Catfish note: Regardless, I do have some deal breakers. I always look for profiles that have full body shots. The problem is that it gives me a vibe that she will be very controlling and jealous, which is also usually a bigger problem.
By the way, no matter what anyone tells you, guys are still expected to initiate the conversation. Pony up and say hi to her.
So, what to say to her? My tactic is to be short, sweet, simple and to the point. Read her profile, bring up some fact or thing that says you are paying attention and send it to her. Brevity is the soul of wit.