Created to be His Help Meet Study
Feb 3, I would like to start by first saying. As a young wife I will be learning with each one of you as we read through Created and that I do not consider. Jul 16, Created To Be His Help Meet is not entirely bad, of course, and Pearl by too much waste, too much folly masquerading as biblical wisdom. Created to be His Help Meet has ratings and reviews. Melissa said: When I started this book, I did so with a day time bible study group and an.
To keep this review focused, I will not discuss their child-raising techniques. She and I agree that the Lord has created women to be distinct from men not only in body, but also in role.
In his wisdom, the Lord has given to men the position of leadership in the home and he has given women the complementary, helping role. Jesus willingly became a helper to the Father. The Holy Spirit became a helper to the Son. As I reverence my husband, I am creating a picture of how we, the Church, should reverence Christ. Alas, these nuggets of gold are surrounded by too much waste, too much folly masquerading as biblical wisdom. This is one of the harshest, angriest books I have read on this side of Richard Dawkins and this critical spirit is displayed in insulting language, in lack of sympathy, and in the passing of harsh judgments.
Here is an example from early in the book: First she mocks her ugly appearance, and then her ugly demeanor. When a woman writes to ask Pearl how to deal with a husband who idolizes television and allows their young children to view inappropriate shows, Pearl responds by telling her to imagine the day her husband leaves her.
The young children will cry when you leave for work, and the older children will be glad to see you go so they can exercise their new found liberties.
If you continue to dishonor your husband, the above scenario will likely become our own personal nightmare—soon!
It got worse when he wanted you to do something exotic sexually. Divorce is never planned, but is almost always preceded by certain avoidable reactive behavior and events. Do you know who created you, and do you know he is the same God who expects you to freely give sex to your husband? I have a walk with God to follow, a Great Commission to fulfill, a life of ministry outside of the ministry of marriage.
Imagine telling a woman who never married that she missed her only purpose in life. Can you imagine how devastating?! But that is exactly what Debi Pearl does.
Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
The following quotes are just a few that filled me personally with extreme sadness for any woman who listens to Debi Pearl. This is how God created you and it is your purpose for existing. Isaiah makes it crystal clear that we were ALL formed for God's glory. We don't exist suit the needs of men.
Created to be His Helpmeet – The book I didn’t want you to know I LOVED!!!
Our lives are to honor and serve God, not fulfill our husband's dreams, and, although it is special and wonderful when we can, it is not our purpose for existing. We do not exist to be sexual slaves, nor is that God's ultimate goal for us, nor do men alone have sexual needs. And upright single men are not less of "men" because the Lord has not brought them their wife yet.
That statement alone causes serious issues for Paul According to Debi Pearl, a woman is always at fault when she is the object of a man's lust. This is one of the most alarming points of the book. The first paragraph on page begins: This would tend to lead a woman to unhealthy extremes concerning her dress. If her sole purpose is to keep poor men from stumbling, she would avoid wearing anything attractive.
She would dress in burlap sacks to keep men from lusting after her, and if she was exceptionally beautiful, she would just wear a burka. But, alas, some poor fellow would be captured by her beautiful eyes and she would be responsible for another round of mental adultery! If a man could pervert his mind to the point that he imagines cleavage when he sees a woman's bare toes, a woman cannot be held responsible for making him stumble by wearing open-toed shoes!
Pearl uses the story of David and Bathsheba on page Her lack of discretion cost her husband his life, his comrades-in-arms their lives, her baby son his life, and the integrity of one whom God upheld as a man after his own heart.
God places all the blame squarely on David. The Bible clearly says: If Bathsheba was responsible in part or whole for David's actions, God could have told us of her correction.
A woman is responsible for the way that she dresses. She will surely answer to God for any evil motives. But, as men, we cannot blame a woman for our sinful thoughts. If her motives are pure and she seeks God's direction for the right way to dress, then what more does God expect? He does not expect a woman to change something right and wholesome based on whether or not a man can still manage to lust after her.
I was blown away by some of Debi Pearl's quotes. Honestly, her view of men's sexuality is crude and low. Her entire book writes about men as if they are naturally some kind of beastly, fleshly sex addicts who cannot see a woman's natural, God-given shape without lusting or worse. She gives a very disgusting example of a man who was once exposed to porn and, therefore, the poor fellow simply could not control his thoughts when he saw a Christian woman dressed in a short skirt page It is a section of the book I could not in any good conscience describe due to the pornographic nature of her descriptions of a lusting male.
Additionally, while her description of what presumably could happen to a man who sees a woman in a short skirt is not only disgusting, it's also physically impossible. However, a young, unmarried woman reading this book would know no better and would be trapped into the lie that she is responsible for any sick and lewd thoughts of a man. The above lie in which a woman is somehow responsible for every thought of a man has provoked real-life rules I personally know of.
These rules include no wet hair in the presence of a man, no open-toed shoes, no lettering of any kind of a shirt, and so forth--all designed because a man somewhere, in some place, had sick thoughts. However, as my husband pointed out, this teaching would really require a woman to dress in a burka and wear sunglasses, lest any man should ever "stumble" by catching a glimpse of something that he might lust after. Both men and women are responsible to be modest, but it is for a far purer, higher reason than the lie that men are sick, animalistic lusters who continually see woman as sex objects.
Forgive me if I refuse to approve of a book that both gives a sick, low, and false impression of our wonderful brothers in Christ and binds women in guilt, legalism, and fear. Not only does she take the stance that men somehow have a greater sexual need than women a lie introduced to the church throughout various generationsbut she claims that we exist for the purpose of fulfilling them.
Therefore, if your man lusts after another woman, you are at fault for somehow not fulfilling him. And the other woman who was lusted after is also at fault.
She even goes so far as to claim that women are solely responsible for all the sin of man. These men were not brought down by the women they loved.
They were brought down by a lust and disobedience that was brought about by their own bad decisions, not women in general. Debi Pearl claims that a lack of sexual desire is actually a sin in her quote, "Hopefully, you didn't realize that your lack of sexual interest in your husband was sin, but you know now. Stress, sickness, change, hormones, and much, much more contribute to a lack of sexual desire. Yet, she ungraciously and unbiblically terms it "sin" for a woman to say no.
Apparently, it's his right to do whatever he wants. But a woman can never say no. This goes against everything the Bible teaches on marriage as a representation of Christ and His church, true charity, and what it means to mutually submit to each other.
She additionally teaches in page that women have no right to their own comfort. Their husband should total access to them even if they are in extreme pain. Another quote that blew me away was as follows: To do less is a grave error.
Created to be His Help Meet
If you love your husband as God commands, you will always seek to give him pleasure. In so doing, you will fulfill your role as his suitable helper.
I really thought it was about mutual love, mutual respect, friendship, strengthening each other for the ministry, and serving together in the ministry. Yes, sex plays a huge part of the marital relationship. But it's also mutual. Women have as real of needs as men. The mere idea that we exist to fulfill sexual needs is low and blasphemous to the God who created us for His pleasure--not man's. Serving one's husband is a beautiful thing and, of course, is to be encouraged.
However, it is never to be encouraged in the abusive level this book takes it.
Marriage is meant for both man and woman to love, edify, honor, serve, and respect each other, not just women. One of the scariest issues of this book is Debi Pearl's take on abuse. They are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Command Man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him Command Men have less tolerance, so they will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has a chance to realize that she is even close to losing her marriage She is on call every minute of her day.
Her man wants to know where she is, what she is doing, and why she is doing it. He corrects her without thought. For better or for worse, it is his nature to control. However, Jesus did not categorize away sin by giving men different titles and thus making allowances for bullying or abuse.
Nowhere in Scripture are men given the right to demand submission or obedience. There is no place in Scripture that gives men the right to break their wife's spirit and curtail all liberty. Instead, we are to be heirs together of the grace of life and give honor to each other. Girls, if you meet a man who wants to control every aspect of your life, run. He is not a Mr.
He is exhibiting sinful dominance, control, and the attitude of a tyrant--not a godly husband. Dominance and control are not attributes of a godly man in Scripture. There is a world of difference between a confident, God-fearing leader and a dynasty-minded tyrant. But it gets worse. It is therefore important that you understand how to speak and conduct yourself in a way that will maintain your physical and emotional safety and ultimately win your husband.
Michael Pearl weighs in on this issue and actually says the following: You are exhorted to respond as Jesus did. When he was reviled and threatened, he suffered by committing himself to a higher judge who is righteous.
Your husband will answer to God, and you must answer to God for how you respond to your husband, even when he causes you to suffer. If your husband is beating and raping you, you must respond by continued obedience as a martyr. Please, ladies, never believe the lie that God demands you suffer as some kind of martyr enduring abuse. That is not the heart of the God of the Bible. There is no command in Scripture that imposes this upon women.
God never commands women to remain in danger. There are many, many quotes commanding women to love, reverence, and stand by their man through his "troubles" of lust, adultery, and fornication. I'm sorry, but marriage is not a licence to enable sin. Women were never meant to be enablers of sin, turning a blind eye to sins Jesus strictly forbids. We as Christians are instructed to edify, exhort, disciple, and even discipline each other church discipline. We were instructed to obey God rather than man.
Ladies, you are never called to be an enabler of sin. So, a wife who sticks it out through abuse from her husband is more spiritual than the one who leaves because of abuse?!
Judy's husband committed adultery against her many times, yet she did not leave her husband. Judy is held up as a wonderful example of a faithful, submissive wife. However, according to Scripture, fornication is grounds for divorce.
There is nothing wrong if a woman chooses to stay with her husband, but there is no obligation for her to stay according to Scripture. Sunny suffered various physical abuses including attempted murder before winning the heart of her husband. She chose to submit and love instead of leave, and her husband eventually came around.
Created to Be His Help Meet -
In both of these examples, Pearl fails to give a balanced view. The wife who stays is seen as good and spiritual, but her rightful grounds for leaving are not given the same attention. A woman reading this book would be inclined to believe that she is a better woman for staying. However, a wife is permitted to leave her husband according to 1 Corinthians 7: There are times when a wife should leave her husband. There are times when she can remarry.
Sometimes, a woman just needs to get out to protect herself or her children.