Ron and Tammys | Parks and Recreation Wiki | FANDOM powered by Wikia
Parks and Recreation s04e05 - Meet 'n' Greet Episode Script. SS is dedicated to The Simpsons and host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and. Aubrey Plaza in Parks and Recreation () Rob Lowe in Parks and Quotes. Leslie Knope: Look, I don't like to throw around the word "butthead" too often. "Meet N Greet" is the fifth episode of season 4 of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally Quotes Edit [+] Parks and Recreation episodes.
Ep. Meet n Greet: Toolbox - Ron Swanson Quotes
Ann's meeting with the parks department quickly spirals into a water fight that Chris witnesses, causing Ron to admit he needs to hire someone new. April Ludgate calls Ron and Chris back to the office, where the parks department reveals a new spoutless water fountain to Chris' approval.
Ron offers Ann a role in the parks department, but she admits it was April's idea. Ron asks April to take on a bigger role in the department and she reluctantly agrees.
Meet N Greet
Jennifer later privately admits that was a lie, but Leslie and Ben have been soundly defeated. Senior citizens are basically the only people who vote in local elections.
The world's my gymnasium Ron! I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible. Either we complete government project, which is abhorrent to me, or we bring a new person into the department, which repulses me to my core.
It reminds me of when my dad made me choose which of my pet calves to slaughter with my own hands for my 6th birthday. I couldn't choose, so I slaughtered both of them. And they were delicious. Like I always say, stairs is a young man's game.
As a candidate I appreciate your strategic mind, but as a woman all I care about is your slight but powerful body. Please let me get my insult out! I've been practicing it the whole way over here! I think Ben's already filling the Leslie void. Nice job on the water fountain. I know it wasn't the nurse.
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I'm asking you to step up. Not replacing Leslie, just picking up some slack. Ron Swanson 's intimidating presence and libertarian beliefs are pivotal for the parks department to succeed in getting more funds over other departments, but he is too busy preparing for his upcoming tax audit served to him by his first ex-wife, Tammy 1.
Leslie, Andy Dwyerand April Ludgate help Ron but discover he has few actual receipts, just notes of purchase that he wrote himself and photographs of gentlemen's agreements.
He does, however, have large amounts of gold that he has buried all over Pawnee.
Ron explains that Tammy I had been present throughout most of his young life: However, she was cold and controlling, which forever turned Ron off to blonde women after their divorce. Tammy I is horrified at Ron's recordkeeping and demands access to every part of his life for the audit.
Tammy I's strict maternal nature intimidates everyone into following her orders, which impresses April. Over the course of the next week, Tammy I moves back in with Ron and assumes complete control over him. Ron shaves off his moustache, becomes kind, and refuses to do anything without Tammy I's approval. Leslie needs Ron to be his usual gruff self for the battle royale and confronts Tammy I about the audit, which she admits is fake — she decided to take Ron back after learning about all the gold he had.
- Citizen Knope
- Meet 'n' Greet
- Ron and Tammys
Leslie asks Ron's second ex-wife Tammy 2 for help, but even she is scared of Tammy I — Tammy I attacked Tammy 2 with acid when her and Ron first got together.
They decide to ask Ron's survivalist mother, Tamara — nicknamed Tammy, or Tammy 0 — for help and she agrees.
Tammy 0 challenges Tammy I to a "prairie drink-off" of highly alcoholic Swanson family mash liquor, but Tammy 0 says Ron will return to the farm forever if she wins. Leslie enters the drinking contest to save Ron from his mother and ex-wife, but the liquor immediately makes her too drunk to continue.
Ron, finally fed up over people controlling him, chugs the jug dry and tells both Tammys to leave him alone. In a subplot, Tom Haverford asks Ben Wyatt to look over the finances of his company, Entertainment Ben discovers that Tom and Jean-Ralphio Saperstein are wasting large amounts of money on a state-of-the-art office, giving employees high salaries with full benefits, and paying Detlef Schrempf and Roy Hibbert to play basketball all day, despite having no income.
They ignore Ben's warnings that the company will go bankrupt in a month, but Tom later apologizes to Ben after discovering that he was right. In another subplot, Ann Perkins asks Chris Traeger to film a quick Public Service Announcement about diabetes, but the overly-enthusiastic Chris spends all day doing countless takes, making Ann wonder why she even dated him in the first place. I would guess that they would be bankrupt by the end of this sentence. She 's the cold distant mother I never had.
What is your name? I hope the rest of your day is cool beans. Why do you have so many guns? This is America isn't it?
Then I don't have to answer stupid questions while standing on my own property. OK, you know what? Let's cut the crap. Is this audit even real?