Meet the Spartans (DVD)
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Rating 3 Meet the Spartans The heroic Spartan king Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag bunch of 13 Spartan misfit warriors to defend their homeland against thousands of invading Persians whom include the Ghost Rider, Rocky Balboa, the Autobots, and an ugly hunchbacked Paris Hilton and a shaved-head Brittany Spears.
Meet the Spartans The film opens with a Spartan elder inspecting a talking baby ogre. The baby vomits on the inspector and is then discarded with a punt off the hill.Meet The Spartans - I Will Survive
Next, he inspects a Vietnamese baby, and Brangelina instantly adopts it. Baby Leonidas is then inspected, having a six-pack, biceps, and beard from birth. He is accepted as a Spartan and prepared for kinghood through his childhood training, from fighting his grandmother to enduring torture.
Leonidas Sean Maguire is then cast out into the wild, and survives the harsh winter while killing a giant dancing penguin.
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Returning a king for his inauguration ceremony, Leonidas sees Margo Carmen Electra dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her chastity belt. Years later, Leonidas is training when Captain Kevin Sorbo informs him that a Persian messenger has arrived.
The messenger has come to present Xerxes' demands for Sparta's submission. Leonidas arrives to greet the messenger in the Spartan way high-fives for the women and open mouth tongue kisses for the men. After growing angry with both the messenger's disrespect and making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him, the messenger's bodyguards, and then several other people he simply disliked, ranging from Britney Spears Nicole ParkerRyan Seacrest, Michael Jackson and Kevin Federline Nick Steele to Sanjaya Malakar Tony Yalda and the American Idol judges into "the pit of death".
As Leonidas walks off he turns to a column that has a switch that reads "Garbage Disposal", and flips the switch causing the celebrities to spiral to their "death". Resolving to face the Persians, Leonidas visits the Oracle, proposing an "erotic-sounding" strategy to repel the numerically superior enemy after offering the priests various skin-care lotions for guidance.
Meet the Spartans (DVD, ) | eBay
The next day, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylae, and finds that only 13 not were accepted in the army, since there were stringent specifications to be accepted "Hunky with deep Mediterranean tans, and well-endowed".
Three among them include Captain, his son, Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio, who, as the Captain states, "Has a lot of heart When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier Leonidas rejects her as unqualified. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff.
Xerxes Ken Davitianimpressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him in a Deal or No Deal fashion. It isn't the only new release this week, but it is looking very likely that it will be the strongest. Granted, a lot of this has to due with Super Bowl Sunday, which siphons off a lot of potential moviegoers, especially the younger male demographic. Spartans Too Much for Rambo January 29th, We are one month into and so far there are a lot more positives than negatives at the box office.
Granted, it is early and it is unlikely the box office will remain this hot for long, but it is still good news. Movie Website Reviews for Weekend of January 25, January 26th, The last week in January isn't a great time to release a movie, and the quality of the sites reflects this.
That said, the best of this week's list, Rambo - Official Site - is worthy of recognition and the winner of the Weekly Website Award. Rambo and Cloverfield Fight for Top Spot January 24th, It's the final weekend in January and so far the month has been stronger than expected.
Hopefully that will continue this weekend, and at the very least there should be a good battle at the top between, Rambo and Cloverfield. January January 1st, It's the beginning of a new month, and a new year.
Meet the Spartans (DVD, 2009, Unrated Pit of Death Edition)
This new beginning brings with it a sense of hope and exhilaration for many people, but this does not extend into the movie world. January is dominated by films from last year. Not only are holdovers going to overwhelm new releases at the box office for the next couple weeks, but with the award season heating up, most buzz is about who will win what.
In fact, only Cloverfield seems to be able to rise above the award season buzz, but this is not a sure sign that the film will survive at the box office.