SYMBOTIC RELATIONSHIPS ~ The disorder in a family is usually obvious
A symbiotic relationship is one in which one individual, usually a parent, and usually the mother fuses her identity with another's; usually a child. The results are. Her newest book, 'My Mother, My Daughter, My Self' is out now. . on the disastrous effects of the total absence of a symbiotic relationship. For many months, this mother-daughter relationship is symbiotic and both experience perfect happiness. Then, the baby girl grows older and.
Indeed, it is necessary for the mother to remain a mother and she must avoid trying to stop time and relive her own youth through the experiences of her daughter.
The child must live her own life and the mom must learn to abandon her symbiotic relationship to appreciate the value of her parallel relationship with her daughter. This will accommodate both mother and daughter because, like Alfred Naouri, psychiatrist, says: A boy knows that he is different from his mother and can escape.
A daughter, however, is sexually similar and soon feels like a reproduction, a mini-mother. She will be fighting this for a long time. You must give her the trust and confidence that she will need to make her own decisions without being afraid of betraying or abandoning you. Sometimes she will be stubborn and annoy you but by assuming her own personality, she will not be afraid of being your inferior.
Mothers and daughters: friends or foes?
She must be perfect in school, in sports, in everything. Often, she already is and her mother speaks highly of her as being very well raised but when she does, the mother values her own educational prowess rather than the personality of her daughter. By trying to avoid sharing her place as a woman in the house and refusing her role as a mother, she can be very harsh with her daughter.
Her tone of voice is hard and, consequently, her daughter replies in the same way. Mother and daughter adopt a fighting position. This difference is simply a hard-wired fact. Previously, infant researchers understood the difference to signify that girls were more "needy" of symbiosis than boys. We know now, however, that face-gazing arises not out of greater "neediness" in females, but rather from a skill, interest and motivation for personal contact that is stronger in girls than in boys.
Girls look for and want emotional communication.
From Symbiosis to Separation: Seeing and Touching, Part 2 | HuffPost Life
They want it at the age of 1-day-old, and they want it still at the age of Infants, as well as seeking out their mothers through sight, want to be touched. They are actually born already used to being touched. It is one of the aspects of continuity from pre- to post-natal life.
The fetus' skin is constantly caressed and stroked by the mother's heartbeat and digestive sounds as well as by the vibrations of her voice. The intense labor contractions that the uterus makes in child-birth give tactile stimulation to the baby's internal organs, preparing the baby for independent life. It is documented that parents touch their daughters more frequently than their sons. As well as the female brain being hard-wired from birth for more contact, it seems that mothers and fathers stimulate the brains of their daughters to be receptive to more tactile contact.
The female brain, then, becomes wired -- from exposure to early stimulation as well as from genetic birthright -- to be more relational, more interested in inter-personal connection. The skin and the brain both develop from the same embryonic tissue.
We should think of the skin as an external brain, exquisitely sensitive to stimulation. In the infant, touch serves the same function as a mother bear's licking of her cub: Antibody production is increased, a life-long advantage conferred onto the baby.
Too, touching increases the production of the growth hormone, the master hormone that regulates all endocrine functions of the body. If a mother is separated from her infant for too long, immune system depression occurs. When production of the growth hormone is insufficient, all the organs in the body are affected.
The infant suffers from a syndrome known as "failure to thrive. Not touching an infant sufficiently is like not feeding the infant enough nourishment: He removed babies from their families and gave them over to nurses, who were instructed to take care of their basic needs: He wanted to learn to learn what language children would speak if not exposed to a native tongue.
These children in the experiment never heard speech, never heard a song or lullaby. What Emperor Frederich learned, however, had nothing to do with language. All the babies died. Inwhile the world was still reeling from the global hate that had been expressed in the massive destruction of two world wars, the charter of the United Nations was signed.
Ina group of psychoanalysts was commissioned by the United Nations to study the importance of the symbiotic phase of maternal love. As a result of the research conducted by psychoanalysts John Bowlby and Rene Spitzwe have precise information on the disastrous effects of the total absence of a symbiotic relationship.