Mother-daughter relationships: which category do you fit into? - Telegraph
In theory, mother-daughter relationships should be the closest of human relationships. In fact, they are often marked by strife over boundaries. It's true that the bond between a mother and a daughter is something special. This Mother's Day, let your mom know how truly loved she is with. Rumor claims a mother-daughter lesbian couple named Vertasha and Mary Mother and Daughter Come Out about Lesbian Relationship.
For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always. This idea can develop from an early age.
Mother-daughter relationships: which category do you fit into?
When her kids were young, Mintle found herself setting up this unrealistic belief during their nightly reading time. Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters. Be an active listener.
They realize conflict is inevitable and they deal with it head on. This applies to mother and daughter relationships, too, she said. Not resolving conflict can have surprising consequences. But pick your battles.
Instead of arguing about something so small, Mintle put the hat on and moved on. Put yourself in her shoes. But a panoramic lens provides a much wider view, letting us see the object in a larger context. Mintle views forgiveness as key for well-being. Balance individuality and closeness. It can be challenging for daughters to build their own identities. Sometimes daughters think that in order to become their own person, they must cut off from their moms, Mintle said.
Both are clearly problematic.
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But daughters can find their voices and identities within the relationship. We learn how to deal with conflict and negative emotions through our families, Mintle said.
Mintle and her mom had a positive relationship but sometimes struggled with this balance. When Mintle was a well-established professional in her 30s, her mom would still tell her what to do.
Then, she realized that she had to talk to her mom in a different way. The next night her mom said the same thing, Mintle used humor: Moms and daughters disagree on many topics, such as marriage, parenting and career, and they usually try to convince the other to change those opinions, Cohen-Sandler said.
Moms feel threatened and rejected that their daughters are making different decisions. Daughters think their moms disapprove of them and get defensive. Stick to the present. Our girls are women in the making so we should not be surprised when they talk—a lot.
Women are natural verbal communicators. With your older girls, I learned to follow them to their room every time they walked in the door from school, from swim practice or from a night out—no matter how late it was. I would busy myself hanging up clothes for them as they decompressed after a long day. Lots of information would tumble out. Ask some open-ended questions, and then listen. Resist the urge to rush in to give advice.
Just enjoy hearing her heart about whatever is bubbling to the top. Learn what she loves and learn to love it too… What makes your daughter tick?
Whatever her passion is, invest in it with her. My girls love the theater. Over the years it has become our thing to do together.
Mother-Daughter Relationships | Real Simple
And much to the first point, as you are listening to her spill her heart out to you, control your reactions to whatever she says. She is bound to say something that is dramatic or inflated, and your motherly instincts will kick in to correct or protect her.Dr. Phil Gives a Mother and Daughter Advice for Fixing Their Relationship
But that response has the potential of shutting her down from opening up again—she might be scared to say something wrong or offensive. Teach her what you know… Your life might look exactly like what your daughter wants to grow up to be, or perhaps it is far from it. Things such as perseverance, faith, and integrity are essential traits that she will need to enter into the world.
When my girls ask me for advice it makes me so happy to still be a part of their life. Talk to her about her relationships… Why is it that girls have such a difficult time with friendships growing up?