Low self esteem and lack of empathy in a relationship

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low self esteem and lack of empathy in a relationship

The level of self esteem, gratitude, love, connectedness, relationship luck and confidence that you feel is % of the time, linked to the level of. The Empathy Response Can Lead to Emotional Overwhelm consisted of a high-emotion and a low-emotion video clip ( seconds long). A lack of empathy is one of the defining characteristics of low emotional intelligence. Love and intimacy thrive on the empathic connection within the relationship. A true narcissist uses you to boost his or her self-esteem and will rarely view.

It requires a generous and giving spirit and a true desire to sit with someone in their most difficult moments or share in their most joyous accomplishments. Some people are naturally empathetic, but people who lack empathy can learn and reinforce the skills of empathy and compassion. To do that, we must recognize it's value not only in our relationships, but also in our own personal growth.

Practicing empathy expands our understanding of ourselves and others.

4 Ways A Lack Of Empathy Will Destroy Your Relationships

It connects us to the human condition — the suffering, the joys, the sorrows, and the longings we all share. It draws us closer to the people around us and frees us to be vulnerable and authentic with them.

We need to practice empathy in all of our personal and professional relationships, but the one relationship in which empathy is essential is your marriage or love relationship. A successful marriage requires a deep and abiding communion and closeness between the two people. Love and intimacy thrive on the empathic connection within the relationship.

Why is a lack of empathy a problem for a marriage or an intimate relationship? Empathy helps you resolve conflict and misunderstandings, as you are more willing to see your partner's perspective and understand their feelings.

low self esteem and lack of empathy in a relationship

Empathy gives you insight into the deepest recesses of your partner's emotional world, allowing you a fuller experience of the person you are married to. Empathy shows your partner that you love him or her enough to be fully engaged and present, bring you closer to one another.


A lack of empathy causes you to have less compassion and be more judgmental with other people in your life. Empathy allows you to distance yourself from your own petty grievances, frustrations, and demands when you are focused on your partner and his or her needs and feelings.

As Daniel Goleman, author of, Emotional Intelligence: Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large.

But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection — or compassionate action. For a relationship or marriage to thrive, both partners must embrace the value of empathy and practice it willingly.

Both partners should be motivated to learn and overcome any lack of empathy. But what if your partner isn't willing to learn and practice the skills of empathy? Characteristics Of People Who Lack Empathy In A Relationship If you are an empathetic and compassionate person, you might find yourself working double-time to be there for your partner whenever he or she needs you.

low self esteem and lack of empathy in a relationship

But sadly your partner sucks up all of your emotional energy without offering any in return. You drop everything when your spouse needs you.

You listen with compassion and love. You reserve your judgments and opinions and allow your partner to fully express his or her feelings. The Ultimate List of Emotions Your partner's pain causes you great pain.

You suffer when he or she suffers. But your partner rarely reciprocates. In fact, he or she might view your emotions as trivial, overblown, or irritating. Your partner doesn't pick up on your facial expressions or moods, because he is too absorbed with his own concerns.

Your wife doesn't take the time to ask you probing questions or attempt to understand the pain behind your bad mood. Perhaps your spouse or partner views your problems or worries as less important or painful than his or her own.

low self esteem and lack of empathy in a relationship

Rather than seeking to better understand you, your partner uses the opportunity to vent and compare his or her own problems. Sometimes an otherwise loving and well-meaning partner has a lack of empathy out of ignorance or awareness. Your partner may not be naturally empathetic, and may not understand what empathy is and why he or she should practice. Perhaps your partner never witnessed an empathic relationship between his or her parents and never learned the skills of empathy.

low self esteem and lack of empathy in a relationship

However, it's possible that you are in a relationship with someone who has a lack of empathy signs. A narcissist lacks empathy because they are too self-absorbed, controlling, manipulative, and insecure to offer you what you need in the relationship. How do you cope with a lack of empathy in your relationship? These are two different situations that require different coping skills. Let's begin with the narcissistic partner or spouse who unempathetic.

It's important to recognize that narcissists aren't motivated to change their behavior. Why should they be as long as they are getting their needs met?

Lack Of Empathy Signs (Learn How To Deal With An Unempathetic Partner)

This person doesn't care about improving the relationship or better understanding you by stepping into your shoes. He wants you to inhabit his shoes at all times. She wants you to meet all of her needs and be available for her without having to expend any emotional energy in return. A true narcissist uses you to boost his or her self-esteem and will rarely view you as an equal — much less a priority. This goes beyond a loved one communicating all their needs.

Consensual empathy, the ability to feel for another and act for their welfare, is so important to any relationship, but is also so often overlooked in favor of superficial games of relationship power struggles. Empathy has never been the sole province of the mystical feelers among us. No, empathy is about emotional honesty. How do you even access your empathy? And once accessed, are you expected to keep it turned on, ever ready to tend to a need short answer: You find your level of empathy by asking yourself how honest you are with your own emotions.

  • How To Cope With A Lack Of Empathy From Your Spouse

Many of us keep ourselves bottled up for a plethora of reasons, and in so many different ways a parade of our emotional floats would never show the same thing twice. Until we reach a state of supreme spiritual awareness, we need to protect bits of ourselves so that those bits can grow to protect other bits, until all the bits are — rather than being hard and armored — moreso rich and fertile on which to grow green fields full of life and vibrancy.

Too much shielding, however, salts the earth around you; neighboring hillocks, rather than their grasses reaching out to merge with your own, pull away. For them, the sun is elsewhere. You already receive it from others, you know you do.

How to Deal With Low Self-Esteem and Relationships

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