11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today | HuffPost
When men don't feel connected or appreciated by their wives, they are In his film “Annie Hall,” Woody Allen charged that “a relationship is like a shark. If I had not kept telling myself that things would get better on their own, we Sometimes my husband will say “wow, you look nice” as I'm walking out. Ranging from how to have better communication (and better sex!) to This should be required reading for every husband and wife (or future married couple) . in a marriage than the relationship between husband and wife. Your relationship with your husband or wife might start to take a toll if both parties do such as packing a picnic or taking walk down the beach is good enough.
Foster relationships outside your marriage. I've been going on girls' trips for as long as I've been married. Yes, I love traipsing off with my spouse and three kids. But these weekends away with friends are also important.
Swapping stories with others and enjoying new experiences make me -- I hope -- a more interesting person for my spouse to be around. When Katie Couric asked Barbra Streisand the secret to her happy year marriage to James Brolin, she replied "time apart. Your marriage should be your primary relationship -- but it needn't be the only one. There are many things you should never say to a longtime spouse, the first being: It's also never a good idea to start a sentence with: We hopefully all have a pretty good sense of ourselves at this point and having someone you love point out a failing in this way does little to engender a loving relationship.
Neither of these is true. If you start a sentence with these words your mate is certain to shut down or start a fight. Stop for a minute and think about what you really mean to say -- and then say that instead. Put away the jumper cables yourself.
In life, there are big things and there are little things. The big things -- draining the bank accounts to support a gambling habit, forgetting to mention that he's in the federal witness relocation program living under a false identity or that he has a second family stashed in Queens -- are of course one-way streets to divorce court. But most of us don't have problems of that magnitude.
Most of us have problems that are more like petty and repeated annoyances, which when fed the steroids of resentment and anger, balloon up like Arnold Schwarzenegger. And we all know what steroids did to his heartright? Most of our problems start out small enough -- he borrows the jumper cables from your car and then leaves them sitting in the driveway just waiting to get run over -- and from that sprouts a giant festering sore.
11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today
It leads you to utter words like, "If you loved me you would have put the jumper cables back in my car so that when I get stuck in a bad neighborhood with a dead battery I could save myself," which, in my household, generally results in a reply like "When do you ever drive in bad neighborhoods?
For a happier marriage, address them right away and keep it simple. Sometimes the best way to address a problem is to just walk away from it -- as in seriously let it go.
Not every slight must be addressed. Know that not every insult is intended. Practice letting go as much as you can. Bite your tongue until the tip bleeds.
And once in a while, remind yourself of why you married this person. Focus on those reasons and let stuff pass without mention. The trick to successful silence, however, is that you really let the problem pass. If you stay silent and still harbor bad thoughts, well, that's where ulcers come from. As the Beatles told us, "Let It Be.
10 Signs You Have a Great Husband | Happy Marriages | Traits of a Good Spouse - Beliefnet
Relationships aren't flat-lined; that's death, actually. Life has ups and downs, peaks and valleys. We all go through periods where the mere thought of life without our partners can bring tears to our eyes and then a week later we can't stand the sound of their breathing next to us. We've all been there. The trick is knowing that you won't stay in either place forever. Truth is, in a marriage, you spend most of your time in an emotional middle ground.
It's not songbirds chirping, nor is it considering which poison in his pasta will cause the most painful demise. This middle ground isn't the couple who sit in the restaurant across from one another without conversing. Those people have actually flat-lined and just don't know it yet. No, the middle ground is when months meld into years and you know what the reaction will be before you say something.10 RELATIONSHIP TIPS EVERYONE NEEDS
It's when the book you finished last night just migrates automatically to the nightstand on his side and he tells you about the recorded "Modern Family" episode you slept through. It's the every day ebb and flow without the waves. We tend to take advantage of those we love the most -- probably because we know they love us and we can get away with it. It's the old kick-the-cat syndrome. You have a bad day at the office and come home and take it out on your mate.
Having a fulfilling and happy marriage comes from the ability to first be a student of what your spouse needs to feel loved, appreciated, respected, and supported. And know that learning this is a life-long experience. Listen to her and her needs with the intent to understand her on a deeper level and become a better lover.
Your marriage will improve, as a result. Be a teacher of love. Conversely, you need to communicate to your wife what things you need, in order to feel loved, appreciated, respected, and supported. Although she may be great in a lot of ways, she will need you to tell her what you need in this marriage. Opening these lines of communication — and having talks sometimes difficult ones — will increase your marital bliss for years to come.
Develop your emotional vocabulary. She'll be forever grateful and feel closer to you when you're able to "speak her language", as a result. But prioritizing does mean that every decision you make about your life i.
Still be true to yourself, but also be aware of the deeper consequences your choices will have before you act on them. In marriage, the only things that are his and hers separately are the wedding rings. Life stresses, mental health challenges, substance abuse issues, financial stresses, difficult kids, etc. So communicate your struggles and challenges openly with your wife, so that you both can face them head on as team. After all, with unity comes power.
Date her all over again. Keep your spark — and her passion and admiration for you — alive by continuing to court her long after your wedding date.
10 Signs You Have a Great Husband
Just like you have passion for your favorite sports team or favorite video game, show some passion about being a great husband. Fight for the relationship. Wives like to feel desired and needed, even when they are upset about the marriage. Instead, a great husband fights harder to make the marriage work. You can choose to be passive, aggressive, or assertive — and being assertive is the key to marital success.
The passive guy is the one that feels he has no voice in the marriage, makes no decisions, and goes along with every decision his wife makes. The aggressive guy is the one that speaks too much and too harshly, intimidates his spouse, and makes it hard for his spouse to make a decision. And the assertive guy is the one that is confident, communicates effectively with his spouse, and respects their differences of opinions.
This approach to your relationship is the way to go. The others will only lead to cracks in your marriage's foundation.