20 year old and 13 relationship

20 year old and 13 relationship

After my mother's death, my year-old father married a young girl of But we've been together over 20 years now, and our age difference. "If I was 20 years older than my wife, nobody would think for a single second that And actor Hugh Jackman is 13 years younger than wife, Deborra-Lee Jackman . In my opinion, age has nothing to do with our relationship. Is it okay for an year-old boy have a mutual relationship with a Can a year-old girl date an almost year-old (19) man in a non-sexual.

My father revelled in starting a new family and endlessly doted on his new bride. From my perspective, she did love him and cooked incessantly for him, always trying to please him … quite the contrary to my dear departed mother.

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He was in seventh heaven, and quite frankly, I am very thankful she married him. I say to all who seek such unions, more power to you, we need more happiness in this world! He's 28 years my senior. At the time I was headstrong and eager to speed life up.

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Out of school only one year, I'd started an accountancy course. It's probably no coincidence that I was also hunting for a mortgage at the same time and looking for a husband.

I had a doll's house mindset. The thought of living alone made me nervous, and setting up a home seemed the most practical way of avoiding this.

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My husband was a successful designer, had worked overseas and was thinking of retirement. We got on very well, had similar interests and senses of humour. I became pregnant almost immediately.

There were eyes raised at the beginning of our relationship; an expectation from people that I was "chosen" for youth and looks. But we've been together over 20 years now, and our age difference is now rarely mentioned. There have, however, been pros and cons to our situation. When I was young I tended to hang on his word — he is clever and has had a lot of life experience. But as I matured, tensions sometimes set in. I developed my own opinions and became less willing to be lectured or talked down to.

I also gave up education to parent our children: This is partly to do with insecurity; he has mentioned being worried that I will find a "younger model" to replace him with. One day, I'll have to think about health issues — in fact, I do wonder about how I would perform as his carer — but so far he's had amazing health. But there are a lot of pros, too. There was never any issue about commitment. My husband had already lived a pretty full life — if men have biological clocks, his was definitely ticking.

He is a very devoted and dependable father; his maturity really came into its own when he became a dad.

We've worked very well as parents, planning and agreeing on courses of action, giving the children a strong framework. The fact that he had a steady income and a house relieved much of the pressure young couples must feel when they become parents. Although it may not have been my wisest choice to settle down so young, I feel I've gained in having a partner who carries with him so much life experience and fullness of character.

I'm 34 and he has just turned 50 — a gaping chasm of 16 years. In the past I have generally dated men my age or younger, so this sudden leap into the world of "the older man" was a life change for me, and what a splendid one it has proved to be.

20 year old and 13 relationship

Our cultural references may be a bit different, but that's the only thing highlighting our age gap. Studies have found partners with more than a year gap in age experience social disapproval.

But when it comes to our own relationships, both men and women prefer someone their own age, but are open to someone years their junior or senior.

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While there is variation across cultures in the size of the difference in age-gap couples, all cultures demonstrate the age-gap couple phenomenon. In some non-Western countries, the average age gap is much larger than in Western countries. For example, in some African countries about 30 per cent of unions reflect a large age gap. So does age matter? And do couples with large age gaps experience poorer or better relationship outcomes compared to couples of similar ages?

20 year old and 13 relationship

How many relationships have a big age gap? Across Western countries, about 8 per cent of all married heterosexual couples can be classified as having a large age gap 10 years or more.

These generally involve older men partnered with younger women. About 1 per cent of age-gap couples involve an older woman partnered with a younger man. The limited evidence on same-sex couples, however, suggests the prevalence rates are higher. About 25 per cent of male-male unions and 15 per cent of female-female unions demonstrate a large age gap.

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But what these trends tell us is that the majority of the population is likely to partner with someone of similar age. This largely has to do with having social circles that generally include peers of similar ages and being attracted to others who are similar.

Similarity entails many things, including personality, interests and values, life goals and stage of life, and physical traits age being a marker of physical appearance.

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Why doesn't age matter to some? Many of the reasons proposed for age-gap couples have been largely rooted in evolutionary explanations, and focus on explaining older man-younger woman pairings. From this perspective, it's thought men's preferences for younger women and women's preferences for older men relate to reproductive fitness.

That is, the extent to which someone has "good genes" — indicated by their attractiveness and sense of energy also known as vitality — and the extent to which they are a "good investment" — indicated by their status and resources as well as their warmth and sense of trust.

Although men and women place importance on a partner who is warm and trustworthy, women place more importance on the status and resources of their male partner. This is largely because, with women being the child bearers, the investment is very high on their behalf time and effort in child bearing and rearing.

So they are attuned to looking for a partner who will also invest resources into a relationship and family. In couples with an age gap it's more likely the woman is younger. This is probably because women place more importance on resources and men on fertility. The success of a relationship depends on partners sharing similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship. So, women being attuned to status and resources might explain why some women may be attracted to older men.

In contrast, there's evidence to suggest men value attractiveness and vitality more than women because, from an evolutionary standpoint, youth is seen as an indicator of fertility.